Being on the surviving side of domestic abuse (finally), I have a strong desire to help others. Knowing that a large percentage of women are helplessly trapped in a hopeless life at the mercy of a cruel and selfish abuser hurts me deeply. The abuse is bad enough on its own, but trying to find your way out of it is such a daunting task. I can't imagine going back after finally getting the courage to call 911 and having him removed from my life, but the reality is that far too many women do just that. They go back to their abuser time and time again, creating a vicious cycle. But my desire to help others is heavily weighed down by 21.5 years of hearing how worthless he said I was. His verbal, emotional, and psychological abuse destroyed me. So much so that I don't even know what parts are me and what parts are remnants of his abuse. I have lost so much of myself; so many years wasted in someone else's mind game. I want to help others find the help they need so they can be free from their abuser, but who am I and what do I know? That's what I'm struggling with right now. Some days I am an absolute wreck. And yet, there is a calling from within that is pushing me forward. It's going to take time to reclaim and rebuild myself. But I worry that too much time will go by and I will lose the information that needs to be shared. Spending over two decades keeping his lies separated from reality has taken its toll on my brain. So, I need to start by forgiving myself and allowing myself to be imperfect. Hopefully, as I reclaim myself, my communication will become more refined. For now, it may be clunky and disorganized. And I will just have to accept it as part of the healing process. #DomesticAbuseIsNotOkay
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The purpose for this blog is to be a beacon of hope to others trapped in abusive relationships and to educate others to recognize abuse that may be going on in the lives of people you know. There is real help available to domestic abuse victims, but sometimes it is hard to find and hard to take that necessary step to freedom. But there is a way out. I want to share all that I have learned so far on this journey into my new life as well as everything that I will continue to learn along the way.
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Psalm 22:24 "For he has not despised or abhorred the affliction of the afflicted, and he has not hidden his face from him, but has heard, when he cried to him."
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