One of the biggest (if not the biggest) barriers for domestic abuse victims to leave their abuser is money. Without the means, a victim has a difficult road trying to finance her escape.
This money barrier was definitely a major factor in my own situation. Even though my husband made a lot of money (especially compared to the local economy), he never learned how to save or delay his own wants. So, we often lived paycheck-to-paycheck with most of his income going toward debts. I even had to cover the check he wrote for our courthouse wedding because he was kiting checks.
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A friend recently told me that I was the third person she personally knew who was a victim of domestic abuse. "1 in 4", I told her, "those are the statistics for women being victims of domestic abuse."
For those who know me personally, the following might look a little familiar. I posted this on my personal Facebook page on June 1st, 2019. But in light of the conversation with my friend, I wanted to share it on this blog too, You're a well-intentioned person.
You don't like seeing someone you care about suffering in an abusive relationship. You feel helpless. And the answers seem so obvious and clear to you. But before you offer up what seems like logical advice, you need to know why your advice will likely be ignored or miscontrued in the ears of the victim. Well-meaning advice is often oversimplied input in a much more complicated situation. It can even be extremely depressing to a victim or feel like victim-shaming. That's not the outcome you're looking for. It might even be dangerous for the victim. So, here's my (unexhaustive) list of What Not To Say To a Domestic Abuse Victim (and real ways you can help):
I found the following course on the Florida Courts website. In it,Judge Alice Blackwell of Florida's 9th Circuit Court, educates fellow Florida Family Court judges on the effects of interpersonal* abuse on the economic stability of victims; why and what Family Court judges should do to promote economic stability of the victims.
https://www.flcourts.org/economic-security/story_html5.html
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AuthorAnne-Marie Archives
March 2020
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The purpose for this blog is to be a beacon of hope to others trapped in abusive relationships and to educate others to recognize abuse that may be going on in the lives of people you know. There is real help available to domestic abuse victims, but sometimes it is hard to find and hard to take that necessary step to freedom. But there is a way out. I want to share all that I have learned so far on this journey into my new life as well as everything that I will continue to learn along the way.
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Psalm 22:24 "For he has not despised or abhorred the affliction of the afflicted, and he has not hidden his face from him, but has heard, when he cried to him."
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